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Why I Get Annoyed By Steelers Fans

Well, football season is upon us, which means tailgating, binge drinking, lazy boyfriends/husbands, and possibly a few missed birthdays or anniversaries. What do all of these things have in common? They’re actually the fanbase.

A Pittsburgh Fan

Sure every team is allowed to have it’s fan base. But the Pittsburgh Steelers fan base just seems like one I wish I could keep away from me. Much like the Dallas Cowboys or the NY Giants, the Steelers fanbase is comprised of Appalachian accents and lots of “hootin-n’-hollerin” whenever someone scores a touchdown for the Steelers.

But don’t ever root for another team with a Steelers fan next to you. Apparently the words “I hope [team that is not the Steelers] wins today!” is fightin’ words around these here parts. (I’m from the Appalachian region of the United States, so this is what I have to fuckin deal with…)

One way  you can look at it is that the Steelers fan base is passionate about their team. But here’s where it gets me – where I’m from is not even logical for that to be said. In other words, most of them don’t live in fucking Pittsburgh, let alone Pennsylvania itself. So imagine how painful it is for me to hear all of the excuses and praise the Steelers get from their fans whenever they lose or win a game.

Oh, we didn’t have this guy playing. We didn’t have the starting line-up like we were supposed to!

Or how about this one:

Yeah, we’re so gonna kick yer ass cuz now we got THIS guy playing!

Here’s a quick look at how I know you’re not a Pittsburgh Steeler:

It’s basic science, really. Almost foolproof.

Think of it like this: There are currently 62 members of the Steelers roster, and an estimated 7.039 billion people on this planet. Statistically speaking, 0.00000000881% of the worlds population is a Pittsburgh Steeler. That means the rest of the world is not. In turn, you are not a Pittsburgh Steeler.

When you refer to yourself as part of the Steelers, at least remember to look the part. This is acceptable:

Looks a little chilly out there.

This, however, is not:

Shaggy 2 Dope Would Be Jealous, I’m Sure

I’m not sure what’s going on there with her face. Looks like a bit of an overkill. But she just looks like the kind of person who would take offense to me saying “Steelers Suck” or “Why is your face like that?”

I’m not saying don’t be a fan. I’m just saying, don’t be a douchebag about it. Yes, we are all aware that the Steelers have 6 Superbowl championships. And the Dallas Cowboys have won 5. It’s going to end up like the New York Yankees fan base, because they have their special 27 World Series championships. Most of the Yankees fan base let those victories get to their heads and now I have to root for anyone besides them.

Come to think of it, I should have just titled this “Why Sports Fans Annoy Me”…

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